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19 May 2019


If there's something that has changed over the past couple months - it's the amount of time I actually spend online. Since my teens, I have always spend a large amount of my time essentially living my life through a screen. As I get older, I'm realising the damaging effect this can have and the huge benefits to switching off and getting offline more. 
Growing up, the internet was my lifeline. I have always struggled to make and keep friendships and I've always been a very lonely and isolated person. A huge part of this, was my own fault - I''m very awkward to talk to at first, I can be painfully shy and my anxiety gets in the way of a lot of things. But another part of this was that I could never find my group of people. I didn't have the same interest as the people around me and I struggled to take part in their conversations. So, I turned to the internet. I found it easier to talk and get to know someone online - I could think about what I wanted to say before I typed it, my social anxiety didn't get in the way of me making friends and I was able to find people that I had similar interests too! At a time where I felt so alone, weird and isolated from everything and everyone - the internet offered me a chance to escape and connect with others that were going through the same thing as me, it gave me the chance to reinvent myself in a way, to be the person I couldn't be at that in my life but so desperately wanted to be. 

And well, I am that person now. There is so much I have done and do now that I would never have thought possible. I've come such a long way over the past few years but I know I've missed out on so much "living". I can finally get out of the house and do the things I haven't felt able to over the past few years. I am spending so much more time socialising out of the house and I haven't had a spare weekend in a month! I'm spending more time out of my house and enjoying my twenties! But that also means, I'm spending more time away from the screen and away from the internet. At first I felt guilty for missing a blog post or not posting to Instagram every day because that has been my life for the past few years but the more I think about it the more I realise - it wasn't life. It was a coping mechanism for not being able to have the life I wanted or thought I would have the courage to live. I realised I spent so much time creating an image that my life was exciting that now I am doing exciting things with my life I forget to capture it because I'm too busy living and really enjoying it! 

Dress - H&M // Denim Jacket - Monki // Boots - Dr Martens 

The internet offered me a lifeline when I was sinking in the depths of isolation and stopped me from feeling so alone. But now is the time for me to get offline a little bit more, spend time with the people in my life and just enjoy living a life I never thought I would have. I still want to post and create content but for now that has to happen around my life, not be my life. I'm living my life offline and enjoying every second of it! 

Till next time, 

Add your comment

  1. Although our experiences have been very different, I can identify very much with yours.
    Although I was not on the internet in childhood I've become very reclusive and involved in my online life.
    On the downside it provides me excuses to procrastinate about in-real-life decisions and getting things done.
    You have still been posting more than I do.
    I love the look of the horizontal black and white striped H+M minidress.
    You look absolutely fabulous modelling it in your outfit photos and it looks great styled with the Monki over-sized black denim jacket.
    You are at a wonderful age to be enjoying your offline life - huge kudos for going out and doing it!



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