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9 August 2019

WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS


I spend every weekend doing the same thing - watching Netflix and chilling with my dog. I feel like I'm wasting my life away not doing anything because I'm always on my own. Sometimes, the loneliness can be a pretty overwhelming feeling and there have been a number of times where I've just sat and cried because I don't have any friends. 


Friendships are just a thing we all assume people have. After all, we are built to make and maintain human connections. However, there are way more of us that feel like we have no close friendships and would go as far as to say that we have no true friends. It’s something I have struggled to accept and talk about for a long time because in all honesty, I was embarrassed! I am nearly 23 years old and I live an incredibly lonely and solitary life because I have never managed to do the one thing that comes so naturally to others and that is to make long lasting friendships. I have gotten so frustrated and angry with myself over this, it’s made me feel abnormal and like a failure with thoughts like - everyone has friends! How can you not make and keep just one friends?! How can you literally not have one single person that wants to be your friend? What are you doing wrong? 

The thing with having no friendships is that you really question yourself and can take all of the blame and place it on yourself. Now I’m not saying I’m not to blame for this, in a way it is partly my fault! Socialising and building friendships has always been something I’ve struggled with. I’m a huge introvert and I do actually enjoy spending time on my own. Social interaction exhausts me and I’m not the most likeable or easiest to talk to. I’ve had a series of bad friendships in the past - people who I thought were my friends that have lied, used or as horrible as it may sound, just not been the kind of friend I need. I have huge trust issues, linked to my anxiety, and I have built up a huge defence wall to protect myself because I’ve been hurt so many times in the past. This then makes it difficult for me to let people in and to even begin the process of trusting someone to then build a friendship. My past experiences have left me so emotionally scarred that I don’t even know if I could build new friendships, even if I wanted to! 

I like my own space. I am comfortable spending time by myself and in fact it’s something I need. I like quiet, calm and just being by myself. But, to spend all of my time on my own can be, a little sad. I feel like I have isolated myself from others to a point where I can sometimes verge on hermit territory. I don’t often leave my house, I don’t really interact with a lot of people and I sometimes don’t feel like I’m living my life to the fullest. There is so much I recognise that I have missed out on or haven’t had the opportunity to do because I don’t have friends to do it with! Sometimes I can feel so alone and like not a person in this world cares enough to want to get to know me or hang out with me. I don’t have anyone I can go to with my problems or to talk to about things in my life and I feel like I’m missing out on creating memories that I’m going to regret when I get older. 










Dress - The Ragged Priest // Denim Jacket - My mums so no idea! // Boots - Dr Martens // Necklaces - Cartergore and ASOS 

Having no close friendships or feeling like you have no friends can be so incredibly lonely. You can feel so isolated and get trapped in your own mind and thoughts of feeling like no one cares. Especially in the world we live in, where everything is posted everywhere - it can be hard to see people hanging out with friends, having a blast with their besties and creating lifelong memories that you don’t get to do because you’re on your own. It can be so hard but it’s important to remember - it’s not your fault, it’s not permanent and as much as you feel you are not alone! I was actually inspired to write this post after all the likes and comments I received on a tweet - there are so many of us that feel this way! And we shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit to the fact we don’t have many (or any!) friends. Maybe we aren’t actually as alone as we feel. 

Head over to Twitter to carry on the discussion and share your thoughts and feelings. 


Till next time, 

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Add your comment

  1. I feel you, i myself don't have "true friends", just a few acquaintances that i meet from time to time, i really long some deep connection...

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  2. I love the look of the outfit you were wearing in the photos above! You look very pretty and attractive wearing the checked yellow Ragged Priest zip-front dress and blue denim jacket.
    It can be difficult trying to find the right friend(s) who shares common interests, whom one can trust and with whom one feels comfortable.
    I don't have many outside of internet acquaintances myself.
    In fact, I am a recluse and spend a lot of time watching NetFlix.
    Unfortunately I am really old.
    23 years old is a wonderful age to be. I would love to be that young again.
    I hope you manage to find freedom from anxiety and much enjoyment in the years to come.
    All the best. xx

    https://full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/2018/10/last-minute-halloween-excuse-post-with.html

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